Failure is something that we all encounter.
As much as we would love to always get everything right, sadly, we aren’t perfect and there will be times when we miss the mark, forget something or let someone down. As a self confessed success-aholic it is a real battle.
As a parent, there have been so many humbling moments of realising how I have stuffed up or failed my kids. As a business owner when we closed not one but two physical stores, the mind gymnastics to keep from drowning in a pool of negativity was overwhelming. As a friend when I have many times let people down or spoken harshly. As a daughter when I lost my dad and waded through a barrage of 'what if's or if only's'. As a wife when I know I am not being as kind or present as I want to be.
This feeling of failing is one that spirals super quick to a swift attack on my self-worth and identity. Before I know it lies are flooding in …. “You suck, you are a terrible person, you should be so much better, you are annoying, you are ruining peoples lives….” You get the gist, a whole lot of self-loathing because of the failure.
The quest for me has been dealing with the reality of failing and not falling into the spiral of self-hate. How to acknowledge the failure but not let it destroy or freeze me has been a real challenge. I have had seasons of great triumph and other times of just succumbing to it - struggling to find strength to fight the lies.
When I happened upon this saying …. It was like my heart found focus. It gave my failings a grid to be guided by.
It also was the trampoline which I was able to bounce off into a new process of dealing with inevitable failure. Here is my current (far from perfect) step by step failing forward process:
1. I acknowledge my failure
2. I clean up any ‘mess’ my failure may have left - especially if my failure has hurt or let others down. I own it, apologise for it and fix what I can of it.
3. Give space to feel the feelings of sad/disappointment - not just bury them deep down.
4. Spend sometime reflecting on what I can learn about myself, and how I can do things differently next time.
5. Forgive myself, reminding myself that I am just human, I will make mistakes and as long as I clean up the 'mess' and learn from them, all is not lost. Then be kind to myself and allow time for the bruise of the failure to heal
6. Remember it is a bruise, it will heal and disappear - it is not a permanent tattoo.
7. KEEP being kind to myself
Yes, we will fail. Yes, it won’t feel fun. But it also isn’t permanent. Let’s let the bruise teach us, grow us and make us an even better version of ourselves. It isn’t and never will be a permanent tattoo but just a temporary mark. This is what I now call ‘Failing Pretty’ - failing to emerge changed in the best possible way.
So friends, as we say goodbye to 2025. Will you join me in letting go of the failures of 2025 with it and choosing to step into 2026 armed with the learnings and wisdom from failing.
With so much love and kindness
Kim xx
P.S. This new print "Failing Pretty" is now available to pop up on your wall to remind you also.