Disappointment feels black, grey, murky, heavy, tiring, angry and sad. Disappointment is tears, groaning and deep sighs. Disappointment is struggling to understand, to find purpose or meaning. It is a dream, goal or desire that has broken and burst like a balloon.
How do we deal with disappointment?
A desire dreamed for, worked for, longed for and believed in only to be lost, missed and gone.
A friendship or relationship invested in, trusted, vulnerable, precious memories, only to be let down, hurt and broken.
A hope for healing, for a home, for a new start, for a business, for so many things, only to face more bad news, death, no home, a false start, a failed business ..... disappointment.
Recently I have faced many dates with disappointment. Not just my own, but even more difficult has been watching my precious babes deal with disappointment.
As they sit curled in my arms, look up with tear filled eyes and ask "mum, why?" - my heart breaks, my eyes fill up and with raw honesty I answer them 'I don't know sweetheart, I just don't know, I don't have the answers I wish I had.'
I climb into the shower, which is my crying cubicle, and ask the same questions. "Why?" "It doesn't make sense, I don't understand, why couldn't it go our way this time..."
Grappling with disappointment is damn hard. It is trying to make sense of things that we often have no answers for. I spend the time trying to find a way to turn my dates with disappointment into dates with destiny, with purpose, with hope.
As the hot water ran cold in my crying cubicle (the shower), I realised that this space to cry, to feel, to express was crucial in the process of dealing with disappointment. Allowing ourselves to feel the weight of sadness that disappointment brings is as important as
Disappointment is another form of grief.
Grief needs to be felt, expressed, processed and ultimately allowed space for life gradually adjust to a new normal, that is different from how we hoped.
We all face grief, disappointment, hurt and pain. How do we get through it? How do we hold on to hope?
Dates with disappointment are made sense of in the light of destiny. Although in the moment, they feel all encompassing, they are in fact momentary. They are fleeting. They are a storm that will pass. They are a cloud that will clear. Colour will once again appear.
Dates with disappointment are often moments of destiny, when I see them in the light of hindsight. With a fresh perspective, with more information and with bigger faith I see purpose, I gain understanding and discover meaning.
This painting is the outflow of these thoughts.
"Dates with Disappointment to discover Destiny"
It is the expression of destiny beneath the disappointment,
sometimes hard to see, often hard to find in the midst of pain,
but destiny is always there, ready to be revealed, shown and lived.
This 30x36"/ 76.2x91.44cm original on canvas is available in the shop for $260.
If you would like to purchase this piece click HERE to reserve it today.