I love tidy. I hate cleaning!
A little bit high on bleach fumes, arms tired from over an hour of grout scrubbing and my mind was contemplating the deeper issues of life.
One of my greatest strengths is also a super huge weakness. I don't do life by halves. If I am in, I am in 150%.
This means that when I clean, it is the best darn thorough deep clean you ever did see, but it will take me a heck of a long time. Knowing how long it will take will often times lead me to putting it off or just straight choosing to ignore it all together.
In my early dinner hosting years, I would have an elaborate three course meal with pre-dinner nibbles, the house styled, table set as if ready for a photo shoot and the mood music set to 'perfect'. Don't get me wrong, I really actually loved doing this, but the problem was it took my whole Saturday to create it. I was happy, but exhausted by the end of a weekend, far from refreshed ready for my working week ahead. Often times it meant that I didn't want to do it as regularly as we would have liked, because it was sooo much work. The bar although achievable, was set a little too high.
The thing was, I eventually discovered that our friends and family although appreciating it, really were happy to just hang out, no matter what the house looked like or how elaborate the meal. The bar I set was only in my mind, not an expectation from anyone else.
Sometimes we set the bar so high that we end up deciding that it is just too high, we just can't achieve it or even get anywhere near close, so why bother. Too high, too hard, too long = giving up or not even trying.
Finding balance is hard. Finding the 'right' height for that bar is difficult. The bar height also needs to be a fluid thing, ever changing according to life stage and life circumstances.
Armed with a new born babe and two other little munchkins, I was seriously sleep deprived. Having a shower and getting a load of washing done and hung out was a huge deal. 'Call up the parade people, look what we got done today!!' We need to learn to move that bar and celebrate the 'little' things that during the hard seasons are not so little but actually a really big deal.
Lowering the bar means having a mini celebration for any win in life. It means giving yourself a pat on the back, a personal pep talk and tiny dance party for one.
Don't set yourself up for failure! An unreachable bar leads to hopelessness. Be reasonable and realistic about the expectations you place on yourself. Lower the bar!
Facing a mountain of set-up to get ready for Christmas Studio Shop and two markets, this week I will lower the bar by choosing easy meals to prepare, be ok with a not perfectly tidy house, accept help when offered and not feel bad that my house doesn't look festive yet.
How will you adjust the bar this week?
I would love to hear about how you have adjusted the bar and your fabulous tiny wins of life.
'Celebrate Tiny Wins'
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