Wanting to Run Away...
Ever wanted to run away, hide in a hole somewhere, hop back into bed and stay in a doona coma for a while.... It feels like the easiest option, sometimes it even feels like the only option.
I am working on two 'humungous' private commission paintings at the moment. The flow was there, I was feeling confidant, I was loving the process, trusting the process and believing the truth that 'I can do this'.
Like the slow transition from day to night as the sun starts to set and darkness descends, so to did my belief in 'truth'. After completing the 5th paint layer on Saturday, I stood back, surveyed the work and in that moment allowed the first seeds of doubt to be sewn in my mind. "Can you really do this?" "Do you have any idea what your doing?" "Will it end up ok?" "Will they be happy with it?"
I should have ripped those seeds out and replaced them with truth but instead I fed them, water them and provided them with perfect greenhouse conditions. Soon enough I was ready to run away, hide in a hole or leave the country and start a new life where painting was illegal.
The problem is you can't get rid of the weeds until you can see them in the garden. My garden was full of weeds. I not only had to be aware of them but I needed to have something to replace them with, so that they didn't have space to grow back stronger.
Do you have any weeds in the garden of your mind? Lies that have taken root that you are now believing about yourself, that are preventing you from growing, going or being all that you were made to be or do.
Truth needs to be planted where the weeds once were. Truth needs to be fed, watered and surrounded by light so that it establishes deep roots in my life, so that when the seeds of doubt come they don't stand a chance of surviving long in the garden of my heart.
Today I am feeding the truth that 'I can do this', 'I am loved no matter what' and that 'success is defined as being willing to do that which I am made for, purposed for and destined to do', not numbers and not applause.
Today I am choosing to "Hold Tight to Truth" - the truth about who I really am. The Truth He speaks about me, about who I am and what I am designed to do in my little corner of the world. When I live from this truth, I find peace, rest and purpose.
What truth are you holding tight to today?